Sunday, January 13, 2008

10 Things You Will Never Hear a Gardener Say

Mr. Fix-it and I were talking recently. We were talking about new recruits. Mr. Fix-it is an Army Recruiter and knows a lot about new recruits. I do too. Mainly because they always call him on his government issued cell phone. Doesn't matter if it is 2:00 AM on a day we are on vacation in Maine, or 2:00 PM on New Year's Day. This was the case on this New Year's Day. I got to laughing and said the one thing you will never hear a new recruit say is, "Gee, it is a holiday, I better wait until my recruiter goes back to work tomorrow morning to call him and tell him I have a cold." Or something silly like that. I am positive the recruit thought he had something very important to say right there and then, but what are they thinking? I am sure there are many other things you will never hear a recruit say, but this one thing is a joke between Mr. Fix-it and I because he gets so many calls without regard to family time or off time (Do recruiters get such a thing?).

This conversation got me to thinking about what ten things you would never hear a gardener say. I need help with this one guys. I really do. I have some ideas but not enough. I will start with some things you will never hear me say:

1) Gee, we have had enough rain this month, I wish it would stop raining!

2) I just love watching the deer.

3) Those pesky worms are so gross.

4) That compost pile stinks.

5) Euuwww! Manure!

6) There are too many birds in the garden.

7) It is so great those moles and voles aerate the garden for me.

8) Oh no! Not MORE flowers!

9) That tree is growing too fast.

10) I'm scared of bees and spiders.

What are some things you all would never say as a gardener? I have to confine this list to what I would never say, simply because I know some gardeners actually do like watching deer (me too but I remember they like to eat gardens then I don't like watching them-ever). Let me know if you disagree or agree and please add to my list. I need help! I know there are so many more things you would never catch a gardener saying.

in the garden....thinking about lists.


  1. I used to like the deer when I still had a garden. They did not do much damage as they went after just one thing....the flowers on Flocks. Never bothered the veggie garden at all. However, I did have a moose go thru the veggie garden once. Did'nt eat anything, just walked thru it and I saw it happen!

    Dawn (and a lotta others) are happy today as the Pats won last night. We may have a little conflict in the family coming up. Being from Indiana, Gary is a Colts fan and Joanne living in Texas all those years is a Cowboy fan. Buckle up the seat belts.

  2. Look at that the precious little squirrel burying walnuts under by spring bulbs!

  3. *My home-grown vegs are perfect,and ready to eat,let's go out for dinner.

  4. Anonymous and Ginger, Great sense of humor. Love it.

  5. You guys are all funny!

    My computer is back up. Mr. Fix-it fixed it again....When am I ever going to learn to back up? Lesson learned: Back up daily.

  6. Mom, Forgot to say, the deer LOVE phlox down here too. Hydrangea blooms and hostas are also on the menu.

  7. P. Manning is out..... We thought Zack was kidding about that, nopeTo early to tell about Eli

  8. Peyton is out but Eli is in... At least I have a reason to watch football next week....

    My additions....
    Ah, look at the cute bunny next to my hosta plants...

    I don’t need another pair of garden gloves...

    Aren’t little boy doggies cute when they hike their leg in the garden...

    I dont have time to go to the big sale at the garden center....

    Fire-ants and their hills are wonderful to observe in the garden…

    I don’t have time to smell the rose’s…

  9. "I wish I had more weeding to do!"

    "That ragweed won't spread..."

    "I have enough viburnum."

    or related

    "I have enough plants."

  10. Good ones! No loss here for what you would never hear gardeners say:)

  11. Here's one more:

    "That Kudzu would look great on my arbor!"

  12. That kudzu is a very good one! I also like the one about garden sales. Around here, our resident extension agent emails everyone when lowes has a sale. She gets the word from the garden center manager (who just happens to be a master gardener). Then word spreads like wildfire and we all head to Lowes. What a place to meet gardeners and spend money!

    Dawn. Good luck with the afc game and the pats. mr. fix-it is REALLY happy the colts lost. don't know why but it could have something to do with indiana (he is not fond of the state for some crazy reason).

  13. What about - "those poison oak (ivy) vine are just beautiful". I am so blessed to have an abundant supply of it.

    Tina I would love to be on the Lowe's list, since I live so far away I never get in on any of the clearance sales! I can always use another flower!!

    Jean, thanks for asking about my Dad. He is now in a nursing home, I go each a.m. and take coffee and have coffee with him. He is doing really well, but having trouble walking.

  14. Poison oak-ew-gives me the hives. Good one!

    I will email you with whatever inside scoop I get on the sales. Lowes is so good because they want to clear out the plants to make room for new ones, so of course, how better to do it than contact gardeners? You are added!

    I am glad your Dad is doing well. My best wishes from him and you and your family.

  15. nina, I am so glad your Dad is doing ok and you are able to spend time with him each day. It is very hard and can take up a lot of our time but you are a great daughter for doing it....good Dad's can make good daughters. I took care of both my parents and now I am so gratefull that I was able to do it. Gives me great comfort as they have now been gone for, Mom, 20 years and Dad 10 years.

  16. Mom, Call Dawn. I would but I have to head to Nashville in a minute or two.